Things Not Considered
by DonCaballero
Summary: Alex Rider is moving to CA after the most intense couple years of his life. Related one shots or series of chapters of Alex Rider adjusting to a post Scorpia Rising world.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome! I hope you like the premise of the story. I enjoy mystery as much as the next guy, but because a lot of other fics tackle that aspect of AR fanfic, I decided to contribute (finally) to the sparse amount of AR stories with him growing up with a family for the first time without some tacked on mystery element.  
****Important to note that Anthony Horowitz was trying to corner the Teen James Bond market so some things in the book were not fleshed out and also written in simple sentences and stuff that didn't lend itself to deep characterization.**

**Not sure where I'm gonna go with the story, but at first, I'll try to update the story without any care of reviews or follows, but at some point, it's gonna matter, and I'll let you know. ****This is my first fic on the site, and I'm a huge HP fan but AR needs some lovin' so here it is! **

**This chapter deals with Alex Rider dealing with the aftermath of the last AR book. I go to college so updates aren't guaranteed but I'm gonna be writing, don't worry**

"Yeah, sure, no problem. Thanks Mr. Starbright."

Alex put down the phone back on the kitchen wall in his now distinctly lonely apartment. He slowly walked back to the living room, sunk into the sofa, punched the seat next to him, and not for the first time today, let tears flow down his face.

Alex couldn't sit still. The Manor that MI6 he was sent to was grand, accommodating, and full of history, but he couldn't take being still, not ever since Egypt.

He came straight here from Egypt, to this enormous rest home/ hospital, where MI6 actually let Alex be alone. Ever since he visited the wreck site where Jack died, it all became real: he had no family left, and no connections to his past. He felt more alone than ever. Walking around the grounds made him feel a bit better, but if he saw something that he'd tell Jack, he had to bite back his tears. He never felt so helpless and broken before, and it was alarming to him. He knew his life would never be the same, but he didn't know how he would take the change.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Is this Edward Pleasure?"

Edward Pleasure wasn't about to deal with a prank caller. "Please identify yourself."

"This is Royal General Bank"

Mr. Pleasure was puzzled, then it dawned on him.

"Is this MI6?"

"This is Mrs. Jones from MI6 offices, how are you?"

"Good. What is this about?"

"Alex Rider, who you and your family have had contact with in the past and as we have learned have a close relationship. Is this correct?"

"Yes, it is. Is something wrong?"

Mrs. Jones continued as if Mr. Pleasure hadn't replied. "Mr. Rider has recently lost his guardian."

"Pardon me? Are you saying Alex emancipated?"

"No sir. She has passed away."

Mr. Pleasure nearly dropped his phone. "Are…are you sure?" Mr. Pleasure asked tentatively. He didn't want to think about the complications from this; he couldn't imagine this happening to Sabina.

"In light of these events, Mr. Rider is going to need arrangements."

There was a tenuous silence on the line. Mrs. Jones left that hanging in the air, while Mr. Pleasure was very puzzled by this vague sentence. What did she want?

In those tense seconds, he tried to recall Alex's conversations with him back in Cornwall. He did not say much about his family life, but of course his parents have been dead for a long time now. Suddenly, comprehension dawned on him.

"Mrs. Jones…I think," Mr. Pleasure sighed deeply. He had no idea how his wife and daughter would react to this… "I think it would be best…if Alex stayed with us for the time being."

With a slightly happy, motherly tone, Mrs. Jones said "I think Alex would not mind at all. I will give you a call when the papers are ready for your approval. Good day, Mr. Pleasure."

Mrs. Jones hung up, feeling a bit indescribably light and happy for Alex in for what seemed years.

* * *

Alex couldn't bear being in the house, all packed up and without feeling. It was too sudden, too violent, just like Jack's death, or so he felt. After fishing something out of the refrigerator, he pulled on his trainers and immediately set out, his feet carrying him wherever they felt like. While he blindly walked, Alex couldn't focus on any one feeling. He felt that he should react, cry, yell, or do something! Instead he just felt empty and alone, as if no reaction could handle the scope of his distraught. Sure, Uncle Ian dying was painful to say the least, but having your last connection to your normal life severed? It was too much to bear thinking of a future, any future, for right now.

Alex stood still, staring out at the fields behind Brookland, remembering better days. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tom and gave a small nod of acknowledgement as Tom came close.

"I left as soon as you called 15 minutes ago. What's going on Alex? You seem worse than ever."

Alex shifted a bit, still staring into space, away from Tom. He started to tremble slightly.

"I…I came back from a mission a couple of days ago."

Tom hadn't been friends with Alex this long to not know to keep quiet, so he pensively waited as Alex let out a shuddered breath.

"Everything is done. I took care of everything. But—", Alex said as his voice cracked. "Jack was killed."

In the most un-Alex behavior Tom had seen in years, Alex slumped onto his knees on the grass and silently wept, hands covering his face. Tom kneeled beside him and put his arm around his best friend, comforting him until he lost track of time…

After some time Alex picked his head up a bit, catching Tom's attention.

"Tom," he croaked. "MI6 are making plans for me. I don't know what's going to happen, but if I do go away, I will visit you someday."

Tom hugged Alex and not for the first time wished MI6 would have just left him alone.

* * *

Alex stepped out of Royal General Bank for what he hoped was the last time. His life was already a whirlwind, but it just increased with Mrs. Jones telling him (rather than asking) that the Pleasures have agreed to be Alex' guardians. It was going to be odd at first, he was sure of that, but the Pleasures were nothing but accommodating and understanding. Alex felt somewhat buoyed by the small upturn in events, but he knew it was going to be a long time before he laughed like he used to with Jack.

But Sabina. Sabina and Alex's relationship had always been slightly off in a good way, with sparks every time they met even though it was occasional. Their age difference did not mean much to them. But now, she's been in America while he had life ripped apart. What will that do? How is he going to deal with school? Alex couldn't grasp going to school much less any of his other concerns.

He knew his future was solely in his hands. He could still use the money Ian and his parents bequeathed to him to live out his days until he could have a life of his own, which had it's merits. Being a burden to others always felt a tad prickly for him, but what would he do? What sixteen year old lived alone? He could live with Tom but dealing with the living situation and dynamics would just be odd. Turning the corner and sighting his ("his", that sounded all the more depressing) apartment, his thoughts ranged to MI6 and the CIA. MI6 promised to leave him alone, but trouble always seemed to find him, and the CIA always gave him an opt-out option. But strangely, the thoughts of those two were not as annoying as before. Lost in a cloud of thoughts, Alex unlocked his flat door and entered, closing it gently behind him and observing the boxes stacked in the sitting room. An era of life had ended. It didn't matter where he went, really. As long as it wasn't here, he could deal with living without Jack better than now. Maybe America wouldn't be as painful as he thought.

**A/N So there it is, chapter 1! Please fav/follow/review, ENGAGE PLEASE! I'll try to keep the chapters long, to keep y'all happy! and please PM if you want! **


	2. Chapter 2

Things Not Considered: chapter 2

**A/N: So I was told by a couple friends that Tom and Alex displayed a hilarious homosexual undertone in chapter 1, and while I don't have anything against gays (don't worry you keyboard warrior tumblr sjw's) Tom and Alex aren't gay so let's just keep it at that (after all, this is a canon story and not some forced teen girl projection slash fic). I had no idea it could've implied that though.**

**Also, the flat bond girl Sabina characterization fuckin' blows. I'm going to try to keep the confident female base but jfc I can't write a story with Horowitz's limited Sabina characterization. **

**Also, I just want to say that the amount of missions that Anthony Horowitz made Alex do is insane if only a year went by. According to the books, Alex was 14, and he just turned 15 for the last mission or two, which could be possible but it doesn't match up with his skills and strength. Obviously Alex starts at 14 but having him age to 17 (summer before senior year) seems reasonable for all the fucking shit Alex has gone through, and the numerous missions he has done. Sometimes Horowitz did well but sometimes he just did not give a fuck.**

**Just to make this shit longer, here's a song that tonally matches the chapter for the most part. /DBJfHuyGpsI?t=20m42s the song is Pallbearer – The Legend. Good song. This isn't a Taylor Swift inspired story (how Swift inspires anyone's fanfic is beyond me).**

* * *

Alex and Tom caught up. There was a lot that Alex had missed. Tom decided he would go to University and Alex sighed a breath of relief that he wasn't going to follow his brother's footsteps.

"I don't know what schools would want me, but the Headmaster said that if I applied myself and still took to being captain of the football team, I could—"

Alex really was interested in what Tom had to say, but he didn't know how to bring it up less painfully.

"Tom, I'm moving to America" blurted out Alex. Tom, midsentence and mid-gesture, froze and turned his head away from the street the café was facing.

"What did you say?"

"I'm moving to America, Tom. To California. With Sabina and her family. I leave in a couple days. I know," said Alex, putting a soft hand up as Tom looked ready to retort, "MI6 just arranged this, and it just so happens Mr. Pleasure is in London now," he finished. Alex dropped his eyes to his hands and hung his head. "I like America, and it was okay for the small time I wasn't being used by the CIA, but…"

Alex sighed in resignation. "I just…I don't know. Usually I can pull myself out of situations and I was kept busy after Uncle Ian died, but now…now I just don't even care. America could be great, but without Jack, it's not the same. It'll never be the same."

"You still fancy Sabina a bit, don't ya?" said Tom offhandedly. Alex looked up and stared at Tom, and Tom's eyes went wide and he stammered. "I, you, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking…shite."

Alex swore softly. "I didn't even think about that. I don't know though, Tom. We'll see. I don't think I'm ready for much of anything, much less /that/ at any rate."

Tom looked at Alex with sad eyes. "I guess this is it then. The last time we'll be together. Well, at least we know I'm a much better striker," he said with a cheeky grin on his face. He hoped Alex would crack a smile.

After a long pause, Alex drew in a deep breath and smiled.

"Oy, don't you remember the shootout when I saved your arse and won us the match? I think I'm better than you, Tom."

They reminisced over their time at Brookland and Alex laughed for the first time since he could recently remember. He felt good; Tom was his best mate, and it hurt to realize he wouldn't see him for a long time, but this felt _normal_, and that's all what Alex ever wanted, he finally realized.

After a long pause, Alex heard a sniffle. Tom had his head down but Alex had his suspicions.

"Tom, are you okay?"

Tom was slightly hunched over, leaning on the table with his elbows; he looked up at Alex, and leaned back in his chair, rubbed his nose, and sighed.

"It's just that…we were great friends and even with you away for weeks at a time, we stayed best mates. I know you need to go to America, and it's probably for the best, but there's only one Alex Rider, ya know?" Tom said. Alex opened his mouth but Tom put his hand up and stopped him. "I know, internet and phone is what you're about to say, but we both really know what happens when friends move."

Alex closed his mouth and slowly nodded, casting his gaze at the table. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

Alex stared at the Virgin Atlantic desk and smirked. Plane rides haven't mixed all that well with him, of course.

Scanning the area like he always did, he picked Edward Pleasure out of the crowd before Mr. Pleasure could spot him. Alex held up a hand and Mr. Pleasure located him and smiled, making his way toward Alex.

"Hello Mr. Pleasure."

"Alex, it's been too long" Mr. Pleasure said, walking up to Alex (who got up to greet him) and pulling him into a gentle hug. To be honest, Alex didn't know what to expect when he would meet Mr. Pleasure, but this was definitely out of the ordinary for him; the last time he was hugged was by Jack, and that memory drove another dagger into Alex, but he just hugged Mr. Pleasure back, finding it oddly comforting. They both withdrew and sat down. Alex released a big sigh, and Mr. Pleasure glanced to his left and observed him.

A huge swath of silence created a void between the two, and Alex just looked at the ground the whole time, looking lost and devoid of emotion.

Mr. Pleasure decided to break the ice. "I can't imagine the things you're feeling, but we both know time is the only way to heal this wound. I can't pretend that even my own mum dying would compare to this, but if there's anything I learned to do over the years, it's that talking about it helps," Mr. Pleasure said, looking at Alex with the corner of his mouth raised wryly.

Alex looked at him, then looked on. They sat in silence for a bit.

"I just don't know what to do," he admitted. Alex was not one for tears, and he wouldn't succumb now. With a harsh breath, he continued. "I know things won't be the same, but I don't know a life outside of London, or MI6 really. It just seems like life was always on hold, and now I don't know what that life is anymore."

Mr. Pleasure turned toward Alex and put his hand on his shoulder, giving him a fatherly look. Alex felt uncomfortable under it, as though he couldn't escape. "You're in control of your life. Never forget that. You showed me that when you went after Damian Cray, and when you saved Sabina and me from drowning in Scotland. I know it's hard, but you can start over; more importantly, you can trust Elizabeth and me. And I daresay Sabina will be happy to see you," he finished with a brief knowing smile.

After a moment, Alex let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. "Thanks Mr. Pleasure. I–," Alex hesitated. He didn't want to say he didn't trust anyone, but wasn't that the case? He only trusted Jack and Tom. Right? Even Sabina didn't trust him for a while, and look what happened to her…oh. She ended up trusting him with her life. Which gave him pause. What is Alex but someone who trusts very few people? '_Fuck'_, he thought. This is going to be more difficult than he thought.

"I trust you. I'm sorry if I'm being difficult," Alex says, showing his reserved attitude towards the whole situation with his small hand gestures. He's been shot and tortured for god sakes, why couldn't he get a grip on himself? "It's just that this is all very new to me."

"Don't worry, it's new to all of us. But we'll make the best of it," Mr. Pleasure said easily. He looked at the window by the gate and suddenly stood up. Alex immediately scanned the area for any suspicious characters, but the gate doors swung open and he realized the plane had come, hastily standing up and grabbing the backpack he brought with him.

* * *

When I sat down next to Alex, I felt rather than saw Alex. Who wouldn't? We didn't talk for I'm not sure how long, but I gleaned enough from the ensuing silence that this was going to more difficult for him than I expected. He didn't say too much about his guardian (Jack was her name I think) and I honestly thought he was moving around so much that he did not have a bond with anybody. On one hand, I am glad he had that motherly figure in his life, but it just made life that much crueler when a second person dies and they're once again a parental figure. No parent, no purpose, and no home. Life certainly was cruel to Alex. I wonder what happened when his uncle died.

I tried so hard not to look at Alex. I knew I had to be this inevitable father figure (which I was up to the task of), but what do I do now? What do I say? Should I just let it be silent? Does he resent me? I certainly hope not, and he didn't seem that way on the phone.

How could anyone be a father figure to him? I don't know what he went through over the past couple of years, but I doubt he trusts anyone from the snippets I've overheard Alex and Sabina talk about. Damian bloody Cray showed me that. Which reminded me of how Sabina subtly changed as the whole Cray incident and moving to America happened. She changed towards the more serious and focused. But how would Alex act now…this is getting too complicated. I thought of something to say to get the ball rolling, and decided whatever happens, happens.

* * *

Alex and Edward landed in New York for their connection to San Francisco. They came through customs and Edward confirmed to the customs agent that they would be taking a United Airlines connection to San Francisco. "_That's it_," Alex thought. The British to American airline company switch made him realize that he always had London to call home whenever he was sent overseas. But now, he sadly noted, he had no idea when he'd be back in London again, and he was afraid to admit it would probably be many years before he did.

They had an hour in between flights. La Guardia was huge and daunting to Alex, even though Heathrow was large as well. Just being in America permanently made everything a bit more overwhelming. Alex was walking but too engrossed in his thoughts to keep up; just as he came to, Edward matched his pace on Alex's left side, put his hand on his right shoulder, and steered him through the crowd to the gate. Alex started a bit and looked up, but Edward was looking forward and focusing getting them across the airport to their connection.

It felt comforting.

* * *

"Alex? Hey, Alex?" asked an inquisitive soft female voice. Alex failed at grasping who was speaking because he was clearly in the middle of biking home, desperate to get to Jack lest she leave the flat. The voice was familiar, yet it was a bit out of place given that he's blazing down the road and bracing for a hard right turn. "_What the hell does she want, I am clearly busy at the moment"_ he thought. He was being shaken, and he hesitantly opened his eyes, blinked a couple times, only to settle on a pair of concerned blue eyes.

"You're home, Alex!" she said, excitedly but with an edge of apprehensiveness. After all, Alex looked confused. _"Oh shite, its Sabina,"_ Alex thought. _"What a fuckin' dream, that was." _Gently tugging on his elbow, Sabina looked eager to get him moving, to which Alex felt he was not exactly keen on sharing that feeling. Alex leaned forward and tried to set himself up to leave the car. Sabina leaned in to help him out, placing a hand on his elbow to help him.

"Dad said you were knocked out the minute you sat in the car." Alex looked at her, try to grin through his drowsiness (which came out more like a grimace to Sabina) and gingerly scooted and stepped out of the passenger's seat of Mr. Pleasure's BMW X5. It was a 4x4 3.0 Liter diesel Turbo M series, which Alex felt none of because he was of course cycling the streets of London.

Sabina let her hand slide off his elbow, gave Alex a look over to make sure we wasn't about to keel over as Alex yawned and stretched. He took a look around: it was sunny, looked as though it was 4 PM but the jet lag made him unsure what time it really was. The house looked large, and so did the yard. It was a wealthy neighborhood, which made sense because Edward was an in demand writer and journalist here and abroad. He couldn't think much though as his exhaustion had only been delayed until he could find a real bed.

He finished yawning and gave a quick up down of Sabina as well. She dressed less loudly than she did back home, even though she was wearing comfortable home clothes. Her hair was in a simple ponytail, and she seemed a bit less overt in presentation than he remembered her to be back home. Her eyes were just as bright though. Something had changed, but he hoped it was for the better. He was a teenage boy, so of course he saw her supple amounts of flesh in the chest area. _"Oh alright, her boobs looked nice"_ Alex mentally huffed (his imagination was asked for feedback but said no comment, which only means one thing).

His eyes settled on her nose, which made Sabina blush and sent her eyes down with a small smile playing on her lips. Alex was giving a small smile too, and they silently ended the moment mutually, with Sabina and Alex starting towards the back hatch of the car.

"I'm sure you're worn out, but if there's one thing I know, I know you're hungry, so we made something for you Dad." Sabina said as they lugged the few bags Alex brought home to the house.

"Thanks, although I'm not too hungry so I'll at a little bit." Alex softly replied, looking forward as they approached the front door. Sabina gave a quick unnoticed sideways glance of concern.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Alex, it was actually 9 AM as the Pleasures sat at the kitchen table in the absence of him. He ate the toast that Mrs. Pleasure put in front of him ("you must eat Alex, you'll be asleep for hours and you need the food") but quickly traipsed to bed ("upstairs, second door to your left, Edward already put your bags in your room").

Edward had given few details to Elizabeth and Sabina, but he managed to draw the story out of Alex, relaying it to them as delicately as possible. Sabina had put on a horrified expression for most of his story, and Elizabeth was looking down at the table, shaking her head as Edward spoke softly of how Alex was in Cairo and forced to kill in cold blood and watch Jack die in the same day. He left out the more than mildly disturbing revelation that Alex's demi-clone had existed, let alone the rest of the fuckery that ensued.

"Dad…I don't know what to say. How horrible," lamented Sabina, with Elizabeth silently expressing the same.

"He hasn't been eating well either. Barely wanted more than a few bites to eat in New York, and I managed to get him to eat a medium fries from McDonald's, fortunately." Edward rubbed his forehead and sighed. "I think we should just have him sleep as much as he can for the time being. I can't imagine he slept much in England."

Elizabeth put her hand on Edward's hand that was on the table, and looked at Sabina. "Your father has taken off work for a couple of days. Can you make sure you stay home for the next few days? I know you already want to keep Alex company, but I just want to make sure you do. Alex needs to feel at home now more than ever."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the 4 month delay. I have the normal excuses of school and stuff but I just couldn't think of anything. I have all of chapter 3 planned out so I should finish writing that a lot faster than this one. People say that many chapters should be written in advance, but this isn't Harry Potter where there are a ton of stories. I wanted to share my stuff quickly because Alex Rider doesn't have the relevancy post-series that other books do. **

**BIG shout out to the followers and reviewers. I didn't expect the feedback but thanks for leaving feedback and believing in what I'm trying to do with the story. It really helped.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: **A/N:**

**I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON THIS STORY. If I don't update for a long time, remember this, please.**

**This chapter is for the fans of this story: the favs, followers, and all those who read this. The support of all my readers from all over the world (just seeing people view my story) has helped so much and given me joy. Also I saw someone from Iran (or at least the IP pinged from Iran for all knows) viewed my story. Damn, that's awesome.**

**So thanks for dealing with my absence and future absences**

**Feel free to PM me 'bout this or anything, and tbh it might be wise to hit follow for this story in case I go AWOL again.**

July 10th

He could've sworn he saw Sabina fall out of the plane. Wasn't he just planning to bull rush Damian and deal with Sabina falling later?

"Fuck."

Alex wiped off the sweat off his forehead and sat up in his bed. He pulled his knees up a bit and loosely hung his arms around his legs. This was the third time in three nights that someone died in his dreams. It probably didn't help that he was thinking about Sabina and Jack all the time. He felt up his legs and arms and realized he was burning up even though it was pretty balmy outside. Deciding to go into the bathroom to cool off as was his routine by now, he moved slowly, peeling the sheets off him, sliding his feet over to the left, using both hands to push himself up off the bed, and shuffling to the bedroom door in front of him. It was a full moon outside, and with the clear weather San Francisco has, light was lightly illuminating the bedroom. He opened the door slowly and did a double take.

Sabina was standing across from him, leaning on her closed bedroom door; she was wearing her small cloth shorts and a light flowy shirt as if she were going to sleep, but her hair and eyes looked as awake as ever. Hands crossed and feet crossed, she let Alex silently look her over for the first time in a year. To be honest, she was doing the same; who can't resist looking at his deep brown eyes and his soft hair? San Francisco had a lot cute guys, but they didn't have _it_. What that was, Sabina may never know. She knew she was above shallow thinking like that, but reverting back to her younger self was automatic sometimes when it came to Alex.

Sabina drew her eyes and face to the ground between them and looked as if she was fighting something, which made Alex a bit apprehensive and curious. It had been a while since he'd been around the spontaneity that was Sabina.

She looked back up wistfully, tilting her head to his left a bit. They stayed like that for 10 silent, long seconds, before she put up a parting wave and disappeared back into the darkness of her room.

A few days later, Sabina was walking back to the breakfast table to see how Alex and her parents were faring after she left them alone to see what would happen, but they were walking out met her on her way to the table. She asked what happened, and they said while it was nice talking to him but that they knew he is now different.

Sabina at first just put her head into the kitchen and its table to gauge Alex, who was eating cereal at the slowest pace she'd ever seen him (or anyone for that matter). He hung his head after a his second bite after she popped her head in. Wondering what her parents said, she apprehensively walked in, slowly crossing the couple yards of tile to the table and slowing drawing out and sitting in the chair opposite Alex. Before Sabina could come up with something to break the ice, Alex rammed a Soviet icebreaker through it, startling Sabina.

"They said that I was in shock and to take it easy for as long as I felt I needed to. I think they mentioned something about insurance," he trailed off softly, taking a bite of cereal.

Sabina perked up a bit at the mention of insurance. "Mum and Dad said their insurance can cover any costs." She shifted her eyes down, feeling sheepish at her uplift in behavior contrasting with what Alex felt. "Especially if you need to start seeing someone," she finished slowly, looked up at Alex. He was still looking down at his cereal, striking Sabina as unusual. Sure the circumstance is painful, but seeing Alex inattentive was foreign to her. If he wasn't talking, he was usually scanning or reading her. At any rate, she was sure he was thinking about his memories from Chelsea, not cereal.

After almost of minute of silence, Alex found the words and looked up at Sabina. "Yeah, your mum n' dad were really concerned. And yes, I know you are too," giving a small smile and a knowing look; Sabina blushed slightly out of embarrassment. "Look. One day," he sighed, putting down his spoon, "one day I'll be okay. Right now, everything is a bit of a blur, to be honest."

"Just take things slow, okay? You've been in action for too long; just move slowly for a while okay?"

The Pleasure's had a sizable backyard, as he discovered soon after arriving. Sabina's parents decided to take a few days off from work since Alex was coming, but they left him to himself for extended periods of time, which he silently thanked them for; dealing with new people wasn't something he was keen on doing.

Walking through the house while the parents were gone shopping, he stopped in the family room by the sliding glass doors. Peering through, then checking over his shoulders, he eased the doors open, silently closed them, and turned back towards the backyard. It was nice: 15 meters by 15 meters, with a tree in each back corner, a small burnt red tiled patio with the appropriate white patio chairs, table, and classic grill that Alex guessed every American owns.

The lawn was a soft Bermuda, and Alex wandered over to the left corner of the yard. The fence was painted in a soft blue, not interfering with the off white paint of the house. The Sun was slightly behind the tree, giving a good amount of shade around the tree. Alex sat down on the grass and slowly spread out until he was comfortably splayed in the cool shade with the comforting warm breeze making its way to him.

At first, his mind was empty, just open to feeling comfort he hadn't experienced in many weeks. Eyes closed, hands resting on his torso, he cracked a smile. A few moments after, he felt the guilt set in, killing the smile. Why was he allowed to live and Jack not? She had a life, a life that was shackled to him. She had so much going for her and more people that cared about her than Alex. He could count on one hand how many actually cared about him. He was disposable. What fate could possibly await for him that was not painful? Uncle Ian was murdered while driving, his parents blew up, and he himself had a 9-0 mission record, which painted a huge target on his back. Once a spy, always a spy was something he picked up on quickly. He knew his demise was soon whereas Jack had her whole life to live. Now, the opposite happened.

At this point, Alex's head started hurting from stress and lack of REM sleep, and drifted off.

He felt a gentle nudge and came out of his shallow slumber to see Sabina to his right, her elbow touching his. He kept his gaze, comfortably laying eyes on her as she assumed the same position as he before she came. She closed her eyes after a while, and Alex gradually lost the count of time and thought, just absorbed in the weightlessness he felt from the perfect weather, the lack of negative thoughts, and the nameless comforting presence of her beside him. It was unlike anything he'd experienced, certainly not in England and not even on vacation with his uncle years ago.

She eventually turned her head, meeting his lazy gaze and making him attentive again. She gave him a small smile, and he returned it without thinking, to which she smiled a wider, baring her teeth smile for a few heart beats. Both of them turned back up and spent the afternoon laying in the shade.

* * *

Alex found the self-awareness and fought to grasp it. It was just within his reach, just inches away, dangling in front of him…

He finally got his fingers on it, tightened his grip, and pulled hard.

His eyes shot open frantically, breathing hard. He was spread eagled on the bed, the sheet twisted and definitely heavily wrinkled at this point. '_Dammit, it happened again. __4th time's the charm',_ he sarcastically noted, as he moved his legs off the bed almost routinely to splash water on himself to cool down from his dream and hopefully help him sleep.

He shuffled to the bedroom door and opened it looking down. He was surprised to see a pair of feet at the top of his field vision. His heartbeat quickening a bit, he let his head rise, showing Sabina in the same position as before.

Although he was tired and was thinking sluggishly, he was surprised at how simple Sabina looked. It was refreshing and a bit relieving. No highlights or evidence of product use on her hair (how he could tell was only of Jack's doing. There's that strike of pain again, right on schedule). Before he could think anymore, Sabina raised her eyebrow at him with a straight face. Alex opened his mouth to respond but Sabina beat him to it.

"You can't hide that you're having trouble sleeping," she whispered. She unwrapped herself and Alex took a step toward her, unable to respond vocally. Sabina countered with the same. Alex blinked at her a couple times.

Sabina was beginning to question what she was doing. She didn't have a plan, but that was never the problem when she was with Alex. But now…now things are different. Both of them are different now. Gone is the insecure, forward and loud her. She hopes it been replaced with a silent confidence, '_which hopefully shows'_ she thought as she just opened her bedroom door and let Alex in.

She had to get him to talk somehow and hear this for herself. She doubted he's been able to talk to anyone about this. Her father heard some of it from MI6, and they could go fuck themselves for all she cared.

Alex's eyes were flitting between the ground and her, looking a bit nervous. He was nervous; this was Sabina we're talking about. He hadn't seen her in a long time and had not reduced his slight nerves around her, which on top of being found out about his nightly troubles made him on edge. He saw Sabina's hand rise, so he looked up and saw her gesturing towards the bed. He obediently climbed on to the bed and sat on the end of the bed, sitting cross legged and facing the head of the bed, waiting for Sabina like the young schoolboy he felt like at the moment. He was caught; he knew he couldn't and shouldn't escape. Sabina sat cross legged in front of him, scooting until their knees touched.

They spent the last few days giving long looks at each other, some empty and some pregnant with unsaid words. Alex hadn't really talked to anyone in the house much but he was surprised at himself at the lack of interaction and attention he gave Sabina. This wasn't like him, yet he couldn't force himself to do really much of anything lately. That clearly wasn't lost on Sabina as she sat a distant foot in front of him, the moonlight illuminating her anxiety tinged determination on her face. Alex felt sweat start to ooze out of his hairline and threaten to soon cascade down to his eyebrows. He was shaking a bit as he wiped his forehead with his hand and rubbed it on his shorts. Noting his effort to not meet her eyes, she gently took his hands in hers and looked at him.

"Alex, please, look at me," Sabina whispered, slightly shaking his hands. He finally caved and looked at her, eased into it by her hands gently squeezing his. "Look Alex. What we had before I left…I really liked it. I still liked it when I came to visit. But we've both changed. We've both matured. God knows how insufferable I used to be," Sabina smiled softly. "But now we're here. In America. We both know why, but I need you to talk to me. I'll always be here for you. You were there for me so many times," she acknowledged as she reminisced about Damian Cray and the near drowning in Scotland. Looking down, she resumed. "But I need you to talk to me Alex. You can't hold it in and suffer this much. I…I won't let you,'' Sabina said, raising her head and meeting his eyes again. They held a gaze for what felt a long time until his face gave a pained expression and he dropped his eyes a bit.

Alex sighed. "Sab, you know this is hard." He never really divested things this intimately. Rather, he'd never been in an intimate moment like this ever, nor did he imagine he'd ever get the chance to, if he was honest with himself. He never really thought this far into his life where he'd have to actually explain what had happened to him in past missions.

He pressed his lips together tight, slowing working up the nerve to start, which to be honest he had a hard time wondering where he would, or really it was that his thoughts were swirling so much. _Alright, so I guess it starts in Cairo_, he thought, before he verbalized that, Sabina tugged at his hands again to get his attention. He looked up out of his reverie, trying to read Sabina's emotions. She had her head pointed slightly down with her eyes on his, eyebrows slightly up, and a somber yet determined look on her face.

"We were close before, and I know you know that, and we haven't really been "together", but I need you to know that I'm still here for you. I can tell you did things you wish you could avoid," Sabina said, raising her eyebrows more when Alex started to quietly splutter. Shaking their hands for emphasis, she quipped "I can see it. If it's this much harder to say what happened on this mission, obviously more happened than Dad knows. It's okay though, because I don't care. I don't care what you did because you'll still be Alex to me."

Alex let out a sigh. "I…I remember Sab. It was nice, and so were you. And yes I did things, but you're right. I shouldn't bottle it up," he admitted, giving a gentle squeeze to her hands.

So he just started talking, wondering if he was confusing her but unable to stop the flow of words coming out of his mouth. He talked about getting shot at in school, going to Cairo, explaining the whole Julius clone mess, faltered and silently cried while he described being trapped and watching Jack explode, and what it felt to run to the wreckage. At this point, Sabina and Alex were still sitting cross legged in front of each other, but holding only one hand, with Alex using his other hand to stave off the tears and running nose while Sabina's other hand was wiping her own tears.

She had never seen him like this. It wasn't like they had opportunities to do this anyway, but it was heartbreaking to see the most steadfast person she knew look like this.

"Alex…" she said, trailing off after seeing his hand come up to stop her. He was looking down and shook his head.

"Remember Julius? I had to kill him," Alex said bluntly. Sabina looked at him confusedly. He wasn't supposed to kill. "I was numb," he continued, feeling the same numbness he felt then. "I didn't care that he looked exactly like me. I just got him down by the shore, pointed the gun to him and pulled the trigger. It then hit me that…that I kind of killed myself in a weird way." Sabina's jaw dropped.

"No, you didn't. You killed Julius. You mustn't feel like this Alex! You have us! You have…me," Sabina admitted haltingly. What was "me" though? Alex doesn't know who that is. All "me" is to him is the posh English girl from a couple years ago, and it didn't help that communication slowed between them as she matured, and he missed out on all the new things she'd been thinking and experiencing. Gathering up her courage and pushing the doubt to the side, she tugged on his arm.

Alex saw Sabina's eyes glass over after her confession for a few seconds. She suddenly flicked her eyes back at him and tugged his arm, pulling both of them down with Alex landing partially on her with a soft thump and eliciting a slightly bemused smile. It was the first smile that Alex gave in what seemed to be a long time, and it felt great.

Sabina felt Alex's head against her shoulder, and they seemed to be in the same position as last night, when they went to sleep with Alex facing down and pushed against Sabina with Sabina looking up at the ceiling with an air of small relief as she finally got Alex to open up.

She looked at her clock on the nightstand on her right, and it said 9 AM. She felt the fullness of the comfortable warmth and bit of pressure and weight from Alex by just closing her eyes for a moment. When her long distance communication with Alex waned (as such communication normally does, she reasoned), she didn't realize she lost her theoretical endgame of meeting Alex again, at least in the short term. But did she really know Alex enough to have such an emotionally tied yearning for that goal? The thought made some guilt wash over her as she realized she did most of the talking when she was in England.

But alas, it was 9AM and Alex needed to get to his own room for obvious reasons. After nudging him and making him get up, he saw the time and started to move a lot faster.

"Wait, Alex!" Sabina said, catching Alex a couple steps from the bedroom door. He turned around and was pushed back almost against the door by the blonde blur that hit him, hugging him tightly. He instinctively returned the action, and they both pulled back slightly after a long while, arms on each other's elbows.

"Thought you needed that," Sabina remarked, drawing a lazy smile on Alex's face.

"Hey…thank you for listening,' Alex said sheepishly, looking down. After a few heartbeats, Sabina took a huge breath.

"Look," Sabina sighed, making Alex look up at her. "I know when we were across the pond, I never listened for too long. Yes, you can admit it Alex," Sabina said, softly giggling at Alex's attempts at acting surprised. "I was a bit brash, I must say. That bit is still in me, but I hope you know that that version of me is not me anymore. We're different now Alex, but that doesn't mean we can be as friendly as we were before. It's a fresh start, even if it's because of something horrible. We'll have a good summer, hopefully enroll you in my school, and see how it goes from there."

**AN: - the last book has a lot of exposition for Sabina and Alex that I forgot about until midway through writing this chapter**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: told you it wasn't abandoned**

Chapter 4 

Alex and Sabina were lazily sitting on the sofa, limbs spread about on their respective ends and half watching the Mythbusters marathon they stumbled upon. Alex never had any of those fancy telly packages, relying on whatever extra channels the London apartment came with. Its not like Alex sat still in London, anyway.

Here, Sabina had some sort of elaborate cable package in which Alex would unwittingly get heavily engrossed in television marathons, long enough to elicit concerned comments by Sabina more than once this week. It was so easy though: no effort and no thoughts (and it helped him nap if he was completely honest).

It had been 2 weeks since he came to America. The first week was just a haze, with Alex just doing what he was told and letting himself be guided by the Pleasures. Frequent naps turned into 2-4 hour fits with some exhaust-driven seven hour sleep shifts every couple days. Sabina and her parents managed to calm him down into some semblance of regular sleep and wake.

When Uncle Ian died, he didn't know what would have happened to him if it weren't for Jack to comfort him. Then, it was clear to him though: the man who taught him so much and told him about his parents was gone, but what he lay behind was larger than life, and he was getting sucked into it.

The Stormbreaker mission had felt like closure to Alex, in a weird way. He grieved by finishing his Uncle's work and finally understanding what the man was really about, filling his shoes in a transitional way. Moving into a fast paced life helped the transition. Now, with Jack gone, and the promise of a slower life on a different continent at his feet, life felt coarser than he initially guessed back in the MI-6 rest home.

He normally felt great when he ran, cycled, or football (Alex mentally noted to ask Edward for a new football) after a mission; but it just feels so good right now to just keep sinking into the sofa. Upon seeing the closing credits, he decided to finally get his sorry arse up. Sabina beat him to it, dashing toward the staircase in the hallway that went by the sitting room. Curious, he turned off the TV and slowly followed her, her door opening right when he climbed the last step.

"Where you off too?" Alex asked, glancing at her loose running shorts and sports shirt. Sabina's eyes couldn't hold his eyes, nervously flitting from his eyes to the stairs behind him.

"Just off for a run. I was going to go by the football field and maybe do some suicides around the one of the goal nets," Sabina replied hurriedly, moving forward and closing the door behind her .

He saw her unease but decided to blow past it. "Mind if I join you? I could do with a run, honestly," Alex replied, and mustered up a grin. Initiative and all that, he mentally justified. That was cut short, as Sabina started edging faster towards the stairs.

"No, no, it's alright. Maybe next time?" she said, already past him and tumbling down the stairs. Alex frowned at her abruptness, watching her jump the last 2 steps, quickly do up her laces, and run off towards the front door.

* * *

It was sunny and breezy at the field, nothing out of the ordinary. She surveyed the field. It was a simple field, with goalie nets of different sizes on the various sectioned football fields and a wooded area bordering the back of the fields. She took out the folded piece of paper in her shirt pocket and reread it out of nervousness. "_soccer park. Exactly 2 weeks after arrival._"

Sabina stayed at the park entrance, nervously scanning the fields and expecting someone much scarier than Alex to pop out of the woods. So hearing a light female voice startled her. She turned around to face parking lot, finding a woman that looked like her but older, browner hair, and a few inches taller. Her expressionless face scanned over Sabina quickly.

"It's about Rider. Let's get in the car for a bit, shall we?"

Sabina had half a mind to run right then and there, but hesitated. What would they do to her? Is she really one of the 'good guys' as she increasingly hoped? One look at this woman's face told her that she didn't have much of a choice.

The woman waited for Sabina to move, and they both walked over and got into the unmarked, black Dodge Charger. Sabina just sat still, looking at the woman, one hand near the door handle. The blonde haired woman observed her stiff stance and gave a chuckle.

"Oh wow, I guess you really _do_ know Alex. Relax! I'm Tamara Knight." Sabina gave her a blank look. "oh…I guess Alex hasn't told you everything then. Uh...well, just know that I know him from one of his stints in America." They both blankly stared at each other for a bit until Tamara let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course, I forgot. I'm CIA," she finished, showing Sabina her ID and badge. Sabina lightly pulled it closer to her face to examine it closely. Satisfied, she let it go and folder her arms across her chest.

"What do you want with me? Your people have already done enough shit to him as it is." she said in a low and warily angry voice.

"Oh don't worry, I'll see to Alex later. We've observed the house— "

"Excuse me—"

"—and we know you go on runs and such. He hasn't left the house, which is good, and now we'll use you to get to him. You know as well as anybody how wary he is of 'our type', as you put it."

Sabina gave a tight sigh. "What do you lot want."

"Just give him this." Tamara handed her a small box, about the size of her hand. "And before you ask me another loaded question," Tamara added quickly in response to Sabina's frowning face, "it's a phone. Give this to Alex. He'll know what to do with it. And, uh, while you're at it," Tamara hesitantly adds, "just ask him to tell you about his missions. He needs someone, you know?"

Sabina's face softened. She weighed the box in her hand, looked down, and looked back up at Tamara. "How old are you? And what's the deal here, what do you really want?"

Tamara paused for a bit, considering her words carefully. This girl wasn't that much younger than her, in the scheme of things. From what she remembered, Alex was pretty receptive to finding an agent who actually cared and interacted with him. If his file was indeed correct, Sabina needed to be valuable emotional asset to Alex.

"Um…I guess I'll start with that I'm 26. I met Alex a bit more than a year ago on a mission. Oh, and before you ask me anything else," she said upon seeing Sabina open her mouth to interrupt, "ask him about Ark Angel. Actually...ask him about everything. He could do with some talking. I mean, you signed the OSA…at least that's what you file said," she finished, trailing off quietly.

"Wait what, I have a file? Why the—"

"Just ask Alex, I'm sure he'll explain."

Sabina lightly huffed and muttered "Fat good that'll do," remembering the difficulty and rarity that Alex spoke about the shit he's gone through. "Alright, well, then why are you giving me this? Why isn't it MI6?"

"Well…there's a new head at MI6, and she's close to Alex. She was already against using him, and let's just say after Egypt, she had more than enough reason to let Alex go after she got her position. I guess she knows his stance on MI6."

"More than enough? Uh—"

"See to it that Alex gets that. I've already said too much and you'll have to talk to Alex," Tamara said a bit too loudly, gesturing towards the box in Sabina's lap. "If we need anything else, we'll let you know."

* * *

Alex spent the time mowing the lawn (much to Mrs. Pleasure's surprise) to keep his mind off things. He recently found that mundane tasks put him in a peaceful and almost meditative state, something he used to laugh at until he felt the refuge it gave from his guilt and ball of unease low in his gut. He chose the push-reel mower (which surprised him in the garage, but what would a city boy know anyway) because of its silent nature. As he was mowing around the tree, he remembered the surprise he gave Mrs. Pleasure when she woke up and found Alex doing the dishes at 7 in the morning. A pang of guilt hit Alex low as he remembered Jack's scolds over unwashed dishes.

What he would give to hear Jack scolding him again.

He finished mowing the back yard and tried to recall what he saw Sabina do last week. Rolling the push mower back up the garage, he found the electric blower. Carefully, he reached up and unhooked the extension cord from the wall hook, picked up the blower his feet, and walked with a slight march to the backyard.

He felt a bit like a patient in the MI-6 rehabilitation ward, but for the moment he didn't care. When he and Jack lived in London (his stomach falling again in that familiar pain), he hated vacuuming the flat because of that damn cumbersome electrical cord. Well, that and it meant that he'd have to clean up his room. He fought through his self-imposed awkward atmosphere and now, he didn't mind unwinding the cord, finding the outlet on the porch, plugging in the blower, and planning out his route.

With everything plugged in, he stared at the blower. Something in him resisted with a prickling discomfort that radiated up and away from his back. Turning on the blower meant creating noise, a deadly a violation of code in his previous "employment" life. This face of life was never really _told_ to him until his time in Scorpia, and thereafter he forgot the verbalization of something so innate because, well, it was something bred into him and the business he was in.

He felt weak as he struggled to do such a simple task, and struggled with this faceless challenge. After 5 minutes of staring at the blower in his hand, he took a few deep, slow breaths to calm his heartbeat, and put his thumb back on the switch. He looked up at the rectangular yard, and in what strangely felt routine, planned a route for his task.

Looking back down to his blower, he confidently turned on the blower by the porch, walked to the corner of the yard opposite the tree and by the left side of the house, and started working his way to the tree. His methodically sweeping movements put him in a peaceful trance. A particularly damp pile in the corner opposite the tree took him more effort, breaking his trance.

Something shifted in his periphery. Slightly turning his head towards the porch to investigate with his mission sharpened eyes, he noticed Mrs. Pleasure watching him from the kitchen window that faced the yard, arms folded. Alex couldn't see her well with the way the sun hit the house, so he just surveyed the yard and went back to his work.

He bared his teeth at the loud noise of the blower, feeling the unease of being the cause and center of it. It was funny to him that he was using this blower, seeing that he was a city boy. Nothing made that more clear than him just watching the men blow grass clippings at the MI-6 rehabilitation center.

* * *

He bounded up the stairs, feeling accomplished and a small grin on his face. he swung open his door, ready to take a satisfying shower only to reveal a nervous, pensive Sabina sitting on his bed.

He came to a sudden stop, eyes widening. Sabina looked up quickly, slightly startled. She unraveled her limbs and stood up.

"Oh hey," said Sabina a little quicker than usual. She had a small nervous smile on her face, but it quickly faded into a sort of pensive look. "Nothing urgent, but we need to talk about something. I'll be in my room, but we'll talk in your room," she said quickly. She gave a small snort of laughter, "you probably haven't noticed but mother gives you miles of more space than she gives me, so it'll be safer in here."

Alex just stood there, taking it all in, trying to read Sabina. It was hard; they'd both grown up and she'd lost her predictable tells that he'd memorized. Deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt, he gave her a small smile.

"Sure, no problem. I'll be quick in there, don't worry," he replied, moving to his dresser and pulling out a change of clothes. He saw her biting her lip and watching him, so he walked back to her and squeezed her shoulder with his free hand. "It's okay. Whatever it is you want to tell me, I'm sure it'll be okay."

* * *

"Right."

"So."

"So, I don't wanna alarm you, but do you know a Tamara Knight?"

Alex shifted nervously. He hadn't heard that name in a long time. "Er, yeah I do. But Sabina, what—"

"Yeah I know it's weird, lemme explain." Sabina walked backwards a bit and sat back down on the bed. "So a couple days after you came, I was jogging in the neighborhood when this blacked out car just smashed on its brakes right by me! This woman rolled down the window a bit, handed me a note, slammed the gas and drove off," she finished, her right hand in the air from her gestures.

Alex's face began to show multiple emotions, none of which inspired confidence in Sabina, so she chose to speed things up.

"Right, so then today I go to the soccer park, and long story short," said Sabina, growing increasingly nervous at Alex's frown, "she gave me this," Sabina said, raising up the box in her hand.

Alex walked closer and took the box into both of his hands and gave a small chuckle while opening the box. "Reminds me of the time MI6 told me that they had a no gun policy for me because I was just a kid." Alex sat down next to Sabina, not noticing the contemplative look on her face. She never really heard him talk about quirks of the job, especially not in this random and slightly free sense like he just did.

Alex finally undid the box. "It looks like a really recent release," Sabina said, slowly. To Sabina's slight surprise, who was ogling the phone with a slack jaw and wondering what it could possibly do, Alex started to take everything out and inspect the box. Squinting his eyes, he was slowly rotating and feeling the box's sides.

"Uh Alex, what're you doing? It's just the box."

"It was a bit harder than usual to open," Alex replied. "Which means," Alex grunted, still looking at the box. "Aha!", he said, pulling the box close to his face. "See that?", he asked, pointed at a small square shaped rise in the white paper lining the inside of the top of the box. "I'll bet you anything that it's a magnetic receiver, and if I look at the bottom half of the box..." He trailed off, taking the bottom half from the bed and inspecting it. "...There will be a GPS square and mag sensor," he finished, pointing out the second raised square section.

Sabina's brows drew together in concern and confusion. "Wait, don't they know you're here? I mean, who'd need that?"

To Sabina's dismay, they heard Mrs. Pleasure. "Alex, Sabina!"

Sabina hurried off the bed and ran to the door, opening it slightly. "Okay Mum we'll be there soon!" She shut the door with a slight huff of annoyance.

"I don't really know, honestly. I'll check out the phone after dinner, see if that helps. Honestly, I might see if I can save it for later, see what I can do with it."

Sabina drew her eyebrows together a narrowed her eyes a bit. "You see awfully calm for a drop off from one of them. I mean, I was scared half to death waiting in that park!" Sabina waved her hands around for effect.

"I'm sorry. I dunno honestly..." Alex murmured, evaporating Sabina's fervor. Her face fell as well, and so crossed the room, carefully approaching Alex and placing a what she hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay. I was just a little thrown off, and... I'm sorry for scolding you." She lightly tugged at his shirt. "Come on we have to go downstairs." Alex pushed up off the bed, gave a soft smile and squeezed Sabina's shoulder.

As they made their way downstairs, Alex had a sudden funny thought. _Sabina apologized to ME. Things really have changed, haven't they?_


End file.
